Monday, October 27, 2008

Insights

Whew! Maddy's last volleyball game was last Tuesday (they lost every game they played, but she loved playing.) Every time she had to serve, I was very nervous for her. She is so small and has spaghetti noodles for arms, she rarely got her serves over the net. She never did during a game, but she improved markedly from where she started. She came very close to getting it over.

Courtney had her final band competition in Everett on Saturday. After the prelim competition, she was not happy with her performance. She said she had dropped all her tosses and she felt it was her fault that the color guard didn't score as high as they should have. I think I held my breath for ten minutes during her show in finals. I couldn't keep my eyes off her. Every time she threw her flag, I clenched my hands around an imaginary pole, hoping that my actions would somehow make it so she would connect with her pole. I desperately wanted her to do well. Not because I wanted a trophy, I just wanted her to feel like she had done her best. When I saw her after, she was beaming. The band went home with a fourth place trophy. Courtney went home knowing she had done her best show ever.

This may seem like a stretch, but these two girls got me thinking about my own Heavenly Father. I believe he is watching me, rooting for me to do well. I picture Him desperately wanting me to do well. Not for any earthly reward, He wants me to feel like I have done my best. He knows that I will be happy if I follow his guidance. When I think of the love that I have for my children, I am suddenly awed by the love that He has for me. He is not an angry, abusive father. He is patient and loving. He knows who I need to be to be happy. That gives me hope to keep trying to hit it over the net.

I will keep making lots of mistakes, (I am good at it) but I will keep trying to do better. I know HE loves me, just as I love my kids, mistakes and all.

2 comments:

Em and Ms said...

I love those parenting moments when you get insight into Heavenly Father's parenting us. I started listening what I said to Madelyn one day and had one of these moments. We can all learn and improve. Thanks for sharing!

Jan said...

This was a tear jerker Terri. I love those moments that are teachng like that. I am glad that you felt His surrounding love for you. Welcome Home.

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