Friday, July 10, 2009

Pants, fat, and burnt macaroni...

This week, I have started mission impossible. Trying to find pants for my soon to be missionary son. We started the week at one store hopeful that "this would be the place". We left after he tried on several pairs he could pull up without undoing the zipper. He could wear a 28 inch waist pant with no problem. The problem with that, is there is no such thing as a 28 inch waist pant. I have done everything humanly possible to put some meat on that boy, but nothing works. He can (and does) eat anything. I keep telling him that one day he is going to wake up and "BAM!" all those years of eating junk will suddenly appear on his skinny body.

I am his mother and want the best for him. I would sacrifice for him because I love and care about him. So, I offered him a true gift. My fat. I am willing to donate a part of me to make finding pants a little easier. I know, I am truly unselfish. Unfortunately, I haven't found a doctor who performs fat transplants.

Yesterday was actually productive. We found some shoes that he thought were comfortable enough to wear for several hours a day. While he was trying them on, I received a phone call from Maddy.

"Mom, Kenna put some Easy Mac in the microwave for 3 1/2 minutes and smoke is coming out, I turned it off."

"What!" I yell, calmly. "Did she put water in the bowl?"

I then hear her ask, "Kenna, did you put water in it?"


The shoe salesman heard my end of the conversation, and we all had a good laugh.

When we opened the door, after we came home, the smell was overwhelming! I went to the kitchen, and saw the bowl still sitting in the wide open microwave. I ran it outside, and opened windows and turned on fans. Hopefully, the smell will dissipate soon, the quest for the perfect pant cannot be stopped by burnt macaroni.