Saturday, August 23, 2008

This Hurts!

I know I should be grateful. Grateful that after eighteen-and-a-half years under our roof, Cam wants to try out independence. Grateful that I have had all these years to know him, to laugh at, (with), and love him. Grateful that he has blazed a clean, noble trail for his little sisters to follow. I should be glad he is taking a big step into adulthood. I SHOULD!

We dropped Cam off at the University of Idaho in Moscow on Thursday. He has the room to himself right now. I can't help but ask all the same questions every time I talk to him.

"How did you sleep?"

"Did you eat?"

"Have you made any new friends?"

I knew this would be hard. I didn't realize how empty it would feel without him here. Sitting down to dinner tonight, looking at the empty chair brought me to tears. Giving Kenna a bath, and seeing the men's body wash still in the tub brought me to tears. Good meaning friends asking me how I'm doing is enough to start the waterworks. I know it will get easier. I know he is where he needs to be. I know eventually I will be o.k. with this. Right now, I just miss him.

Typical big brother. Teasing and tickling before we left.


Jan said...

It gets better mommabird. Promise. Glad you are all safe. He looks good and prepared.

Blaine, Hillary & Colton said...

I'm already petrified to think of putting Colton on a school bus in four years--I can't imagine having your first out of arm's length reach! You are a great Mom and he's been taught well so he'll survive and do great! Good luck with the coping though. We miss ya

Heather said...

Awww.... good luck adjusting.

::DANDEE:: said...

It's hard to believe he's already there. On the positive side, I bet your food budget will go farther. :)

Pam A. told me today that you've got your houseplans finalized...I'd love to see!

grandma H said...

I know ter just how hard to let you fly. Even now it is hard, I love to see your independence. Your great family. Your great parenting skills. Knowing the Lord is in your lives. It does come easier, but always wanting the best
and security, protection etc.
They have to leave nest and learn to fly. mom

debsters said...

How unfeeling am I? I forgot that was the reason for your recent trip. You were so sweet to ask about me yesterday. I didn't think to ask about your trip.

He will do great, he's a great guy. (I was about to say kid, but that didn't seem quite right.)

Amy J. said...

Thanks for sharing him in Tuesday with the 11 year old scouts! At the time I didn't realize how soon he was leaving! =(

Nicki said...

Wow! He looks pretty grown up in his dorm room. I hope you are feeling a little better. I struggled with a week of scout camp. How are the girls adjusting?